Conversations with Calliope- Suicide Bombers

(Storm Clouds)

JOE: Good morning Calliope.
CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today?
JOE: Wondering about suicide bombers.
CALLIOPE: What brings them to mind?
JOE: A program I happened on this morning on TV about the psychology of suicide bombers.
CALLIOPE: What was the jist?
JOE: Sometimes cells of people with similar thinking form bonds not necessarily at the behest of al Qaeda or other influence.
CALLIOPE: How do they get to suicide bombing?
JOE: They seem to form tight bonds beyond consideration of family or even strangers and depersonalize others. The group bond becomes the only thing in their life.
CALLIOPE: How does the suicide part fit it?
JOE: If they explained that, I missed it. The program stressed the importance of the group bond but did not address other motivation.
CALLIOPE: Does it make sense to you?
JOE: No. But then I'm not a suicide bomber. It's hard for me to even imagine.
CALLIOPE: Perhaps it is too complex to understand. Once people explode themselves it's too late to explore their motivation.
JOE: I agree. Another of life's mysteries at least for now. Talk with you tomorrow.

Conversations with Calliope

JOE: Good morning Calliope.
CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today?
JOE: Still pondering my lying fallow.
CALLIOPE: What are you pondering specifically?
JOE: I tried to shut off my logical brain for a while, but it doesn't seem to want to cooperate.
CALLIOPE: What is it doing?
JOE: Bringing up thoughts of whether I should continue my writing efforts or just enjoy retirement or do something else.
CALLIOPE: Sounds rather drastic. Where do you think those thoughts originate?
JOE: Probably from realizing that publicity and marketing are much more complicated than I thought even though I have been learning all I can.
CALLIOPE: Speaking of which, how are the videos coming?
JOE: I guess that's part of the frustration. I have struggled with the technology to the point of frustration. Finally I have all the pieces in place and have developed an outline for the first video, Ten Reasons To Read The Pastor's Inferno and Ten Reasons Not To.
CALLIOPE: So what's the problem?
JOE: I felt my energy drained by the effort. I'm ready to go technically but flagging in my motivation.
CALLIOPE: You mentioned recharging. Did you do anything in this regard?
JOE: Yesterday I resumed work on a painting of the Block Island Lighthouse I promised to have finished by the beginning of July. I also attended a picnic for cancer survivors last night and got out of myself as well as having some help putting my good fortune in perspective.
CALLIOPE: Those sound like positive steps. Now what?
JOE: More painting today. I think I will also try a test video with the technology I have recently discovered to consider the quality of the video. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
(Charlotte Lighthouse- Rochester, NY)

Conversations with Calliope

JOE: Good morning Calliope.
CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. Ready for another week?
JOE: I guess so.
CALLIOPE: You don't sound too enthused.
JOE: I feel like an alligator sleeping on the shore, too lazy to move.
CALLIOPE: What a way to start the week. Do you have anything planned?
JOE: I do. Over the weekend, I spent my free time reading which I enjoyed. However I didn't start working on the videos.
CALLIOPE: So what's your excuse?
JOE: None other than inertia. But I did set them as my main goal for this week. I received a new cable for my video camera and will try it out today. If I still can't get me camera to connect to my computer, I will proceed using my webcam although I am not thrilled by the quality. But at least it would be a start.
CALLIOPE: I agree. You seem to have trouble becoming motivated in general lately.
JOE: I guess you're right. I wrote in my journal earlier this morning that I would just as soon spend the day sitting on the porch reading again today. But I don't think I will.
CALLIOPE: Where do you suppose the answer lies?
JOE: I think in just getting myself in gear. Once I am on the move mentally, I think I can keep going, the other side of inertia.
CALLIOPE: See what you can do today. Otherwise we will need to look at more drastic steps.
JOE: Yes Ma'am. I'll do my best. Talk with you tomorrow.
(Sandwash- Batavia, NY)

Conversations with Calliope

JOE: Good morning Calliope.
CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today.
JOE: A little frustrated. I have been working on network connections and thought the new format at the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle would be a good place to become involved. I have struggled with their registration process which seems to ignore me. Finally it told me my account was locked out without any explanation.
CALLIOPE: So what did you do about it?
JOE: Sent them an email to see what is going on and what to do about it.
CALLIOPE: That makes sense. Why are you so anxious to be part of their community?
JOE: With the Governor Spitzer sex scandal, I would like to be part of the discussion, especially in light of my novel The Pastor's Inferno exploring sexual deviance. I would like to have my say but so far can only listen.
CALLIOPE: Where else can you have your say?
JOE: In my column which is due Saturday. I think I will make deviant sexuality motivation the topic since so little is written about it. The only column I could find in today's paper about motivation was by a psychologist who ended up by concluding that he had no idea. This is an area of great ignorance and I would like to see people at least think about it.
CALLIOPE: I can see you are passionate about this. Do you think anyone wants to listen?
JOE: I am not so sure. It is certainly an uncomfortable topic I think people would rather ignore. I guess my challenge is to find a way to get people to take an interest.
CALLIOPE: How do you plan to do that?
JOE: I'm still working on it. I suppose the only way is to demonstrate the relevance to my readers' own lives rather than it just being an unsavory topic safe to ignore.
CALLIOPE: Good luck with that.
JOE: I know it's an uphill battle, but if I stuck to what is safe to write, I wouldn't feel like I was saying anything worthwhile.

Momentum and its Vagaries

I have noticed that there are days when I can't wait to get started writing. The words flow from my fingers and from somewhere in my mind. It is as if I can't do anything else until I write for a while. Other times it is all I can do to write, even if I have set a deadline for myself or if someone is waiting for what I might produce. I would like to know what brings about this difference in momentum. How can I be so motivated one time and so listless another? So far I have not figured this out. It seems I am at the whim of my muse. Maybe I need to tend more to the care and feeding of muses, once I figure out what they like.

Capricious Creativity

Two summers ago I was drawing and painting almost every day. Last summer I was not in the mood but missed art. I have tried to get back into it on a number of occasions. It didn't work. I have felt a connection between my art and writing. When I can draw or paint, writing seems to come more easily. I tried to force myself to draw, and of course that didn't work either. A few days ago, the urge to draw suddenly returned and I am getting back in the habit, making me feel better and also contributing to my writing ease. Like many other things in life, this remains a mystery to me. I guess it is just up to me to accept the vagaries of my mind and its inclinations.