Slow Motion

Last week I felt like my mind was operating in slow motion. Fortunately it recovered. This week I am wrestling with a cold and my body feels like it is now in slow motion. While not actually plodding through molasses, it sure feels like it. Maybe it takes weeks like this to appreciate my body and mind and how well they usually work in tandem so I can accomplish what I want to. I apologize to my body and mind for taking them both for granted. I know I don't operate on automatic pilot, but when things go smoothly, it seems to be an occupational hazard of living to ignore what is going on behind the scenes. The drama of our lives is not a simple one and consists of much more than is obvious, even to ourselves.

Cooperation or Confrontation

I was reading this morning about the likely presidential candidacy of Barack Obama. The column was by a conservative writer. I was surprised to see enthusiasm on his part for anything smacking of the Democratic Party. After his initial enthusiasm, he went on to list some of his positions which were diametrically opposed to those of conservative Republicans. He wondered how Obama could compromise on these issues. I have been thinking for quite a while that this country needs a person who would listen to others and find ways for us all to cooperate. No one of this nature appeared on the horizen until Mr. Obama came onto the scene. I don't know how he will be able to meld opposite positions and get us to work together. But he is the first politician who has expressed any interest in doing so in recent years. It gives me hope that it will be possible for us as a country to work together again for a change.

Gaining Momentum for the New Year

I enjoyed the Christmas season very much. In the process I slacked off from my usual work schedule. Now that winter is actually here, I am ready to get back into the groove. Unfortunately it's not so easy. I have found that writing is more of a struggle these days. I don't think I have writer's block. I am able to write but just not with the facility and ease I had before. Maybe my writing habit has slipped and I need to work to get back into it. I had a dreaded thought earlier this day that I might have written all I have to say. Hopefully that is not the case. I have very much enjoyed writing over the past few years and would hate to have to find something else to do.

Walking in Another's Shoes

The title of this post is a phrase used to suggest a way to get to know how someone else thinks in order to understand his or her life. I have thought of it in another way. Sometimes you find yourself stuck every time you find yourself in a particular situation. You might have trouble figuring out what to do no matter how hard you think about it. You could ask for help, but you might not know who to ask or might be to embarrassed. Here's another idea. Think of someone you know who has faced the same situation and handled it well. Pretend you are that person the next time the situation faces you and act as that person would. If you are not sure what he or she did, try to observe him or her the next time it happens. You don't always have to understand what you are doing before you do it. By acting as the other person would, it might all might start making sense to you in the process.

Obese Children

I read this morning about a grant to address the problem of childhood obesity. I got to thinking what it takes to address a difficult problem. Like most such issues, there is no simple solution or it would have been tried already. The environment, our cultural history, our current customs, advertising, limited exercise and our way of life in general are all contributors as well as other factors I could not think of readily. Like many issues, money alone will not solve this one. It will take a critical look at how we live and what we can do differently.

Following in the Footsteps of Those Who Went Before

Sometimes we act as if we need to learn everything by ourselves. Sometimes it is difficult to remember that we are not the first people who walked the earth. We tend to do things the hard way. Maybe it is from our sense of pride. But there are very few new problems in life. Technology might change, but people tend to act as they always did even if they have some new tools. We learn about history to see what others have made of mankind and read novels to get a better understanding of the human condition from a fantasy point of view. Most of us have ancestors, living relatives and friends who can teach us ways to understand our lives if we take the time to listen to them. We are never alone in life even at times when we feel out on a limb with no support. The psychiatrist Jung wrote about the collective unconscious. We can be in touch with the learning of others through our relationships, reading and yes even the internet.

Ready, Fire, Aim

At one time I thought that only people with ADHD were impulsive. I have since discovered that world leaders can act the same way. Acting without a clear goal or strategy has embroiled us in the Iraq debacle with little sense of how to extricate ourselves from a mess we have created by trying to mold a country and its people into our own image despite their inclinations. While the Iraqis certainly did not like being ruled by a tyrant, they most certainly do not like having become a center of violence, often turned against each other. We do not seem to be used to taking our time to find reasonable approaches. We wish immediate solutions which often end up causing further problems. I wish there were an easy solution, but one does not seem evident yet.

The Wonders of Technology

I have been struggling lately to produce a DVD from film I took with my digital camera. Wrestling not only with all the various terms but the intricacies of digital formats and mechanics is enough to try my patience. Sometimes it is a challenge, but often it is drudgery. I end up spending more time figuring out what to do than I do in actually accomplishing anything. I suppose the technological challenge keeps my brain sharp. But sometimes I would rather spend my time just being creative- drawing, painting or writing with an actual pen. I don't usually think of myself as a Luddite, but sometimes I wonder about the advantages of the digital age. They make what we do faster and easier to disseminate but also seem to eviscerate the creativity, thought and emotion that goes into our work. E-mail is an example of quick, direct and cheap communication but omits the physical style, nuance and inflection of the written or spoken word. I have wondered whether there might be a way to restore these embellishments to digital communication.

Guerrilla Living

I just received a copy of Guerrilla Marketing for Writers. The book is about how writers can market their work without huge resources by concentrating on the little things that can make them successful. It occured to me that the same is true of life. I remember thinking "If I only had..." It is easy to identify things which can be used for excuses not to accomplish our goals. We can sit and wait until our wish comes true and not feel we are wasting our time. After all, how could we accomplish anything until... I am learning that If I want to get anywhere, I have to get moving with the resources I have, network with people who can help me and learn what works for others in my situation. See you at the finish line!

A New Day Every Five Minutes

I was talking recently with a friend about his mother who has Alzhiemers. He told me that for her it is like having a new day every five minutes. Everything which took place before then had been lost from her mind. I got to thinking what it would like to have no lasting memory of recent events. I think there are good and bad aspects, not that anyone has a choice. We would not have the cherished memories we might have had otherwise but then would not realize we were missing them. Anything we did not like would soon be gone from our awareness, making it hard for us to harbor resentments. I guess everything in life has its pros and cons.

Am I a Senior Yet?

I have been wondering lately if I am a senior citizen yet. AARP thinks I have been since I was fifty. That was a little unsettling although I have benefitted from some of their insurance programs. More recently I have been in somewhat of a quandry about senior discounts. Some start at age 55, some at 60, some at 62 and some at 65. I bought some tickets not too long ago which had a senior discount available. I asked what constituted a senior. The clerk scratched her head and asked, "Do you feel like a senior?" I did at the moment and walked away with my discounted ticket. I am sixty-four today and starting my last year in senior limbo. At my next birthday I will be an official senior by all accounts. I haven't decided yet how I feel about that.

Look for Your Silver Sword

Sometimes the most spectacular events in nature occur where least expected. I remember making my way to the top of Haleakula Crater in Maui and unexpectedly came across the Silver Sword plant which grows only in remote locations such as at the top of dormant volcanoes. In general, being at the top of the crater was like standing on the moon, or at least what I imagine that experience to be. There in the midst of the desolate but still breathtaking expanse grew isolated examples of the Silver Sword plant which is quite rare and endangered. I think life is like this too. Even when everything around us appears desolate, there is something worth admiring and enjoying if we take the time and effort to look for it.

Further Thoughts on Natural Law

An anonymous reader shared his perception of natural law as "the laws of nature and the universe without the intervention of man and his interpretation." I think this is a good way to put it. An example would be the law of gravity or ocean tides. They work whether we think they should or want them to. They are just there. Maybe I was confused by people arguing about what the natural law means in their interpretation and presuming to speak for God. We don't need to decide whether there are such things as gravity or tides. They are pretty obvious. How God means us to act seems to me to be a matter of interpretation and should probably be called something other than natural law.

Hitting the Ground Running

I was just beginning to enjoy a little holiday relaxation when I realized the new year was underway and it was already January 3. I always feel some urgency to get on with my activities when I get back to normal, whatever that is for me in any given year. I think it dawned on me this morning when I found myself back in the gym with everyone else who had been taking it easy. I have learned some things about mementum in the past year. I found that exercise as well as writing are easier when I make them a habit. I don't have to wrestle with myself each day to do something I am used to doing. I also realized the truth of the old Latin adage, "Mens sana in corpore sanu (a sound mind in a sound body.)

Receiving What We Send

My life partner and I were talking this morning about the phenomenon of receiving back from others what we send. If we send out negative vibrations, it should not surprise us to receive them back from others. Being kind and friendly to others encourages them to reply in kind. I have heard people say they can't find anyone to date. But sometimes when you watch them in action, their words and body language suggest a barrier no one would dare approach. I remember going to a business mixer several years ago and being disappointed not to meet anyone. When I attended the same function recently, I had a much different response. I realized that I was the one who changed and this time did not wait for others to approach me but approached them in an interested manner changing the whole tone of our interaction.

Whence Natural Law?

I have wondered for a while about natural law. Wikipedia describes it as "the principle that some things are as they are because that is how they are." Well, that may be, but who gets to decide what the natural law is? Does one find it written on the side of a tree somewhere? The theologian Thomas Aquinas in the thirteenth century stated that the rational nature of human beings defines natural law. I don't remember everyone getting together to agree on what natural law consists of. In reality governments and religions have been the ones to proclaim natural law. The whole discussion seems rather academic until we get to particulars such as contraception being against the natural law since everyone knows that sex is for procreation and without the option of procreation, sex is "disordered." That has been a source of controversy for some time. The whole matter remains a puzzlement to me. Anybody have any ideas?

Creating Positive Energy

Many years ago when I was studying physics, I learned that energy is never lost in the universe. It is possible to change energy from one form to another but not possible to create or destroy it. It was a bit difficult for me to understand. It seemed to me that machines as well as people could run out of energy. The reality is that they just run out of fuel until they are resupplied. If we can't create energy, we can at least change it from positive to negative energy or from negative to positive energy. Through our efforts we can make our immediate emotional environment toxic for those who come near us or energizing for them instead. What do you want to share with others?

Love the Ones You're With

One of my life partner's favorite sayings is, "If you can't be with the ones you love, love the ones you're with." Not all of us can be with the ones we love at Christmas for various reasons. Rather than just keeping to ourselves and staying lonely under these circumstances, we can share some of ourselves with those around us. There are always many small ways we can add to the joy or at least lessen the burden of those we meet on a daily basis. Sometimes a kind word or a very minor favor reminds that person that he or she is worthy of at least some slight consideration even on the part of a stranger. It costs us very little, enhances someone else's life and also makes us feel better. Merry Christmas.

Learning from Giving

I talked with someone recently who decided to do something different this Christmas. She looked for people who seemed to be struggling with what they could afford to buy their children as gifts. She had with her a supply of twenty dollar bills which she offered to people she thought could one. The idea seemed simple enough. Putting it into practice was not so easy. You take the risk of offending someone by offering them money, suggesting that they could use it. Even people of limited means are sensitive to how people perceive them. In order not to make them feel belittled, she had to convince them that it was more for her than for them. I have also read about how someone bought a stranger lunch for no particular reason. Most of us donate money to charities or to a church. Such giving is usually anonymous and we never get to meet the one we are helping. The experience is quite different up close and personal.

What Christmas present do we give to ourselves?

This is the time of year when we tend to be preoccupied with what to give as presents to people we care for. What would they like? What would show how we feel about them? What would make them feel good? I wonder how many of us stop to think what kind of gift we could give ourselves. I know I never did it until just now. There are a few things we could consider: permission to set time aside to enjoy ourselves, a small treat we have constantly put off, getting rid of the things or obligations which keep us from getting on with what is important to us. If you think about it, you should be able to make a good list for yourself. Then choose a few of the things you would like most. Best of all it doesn't cost anything.

What Do We Expect of Ourselves?

In yesterday's post, I wrote about what others expect of us and how that tends to shape our actions. Probably at least as important are the expectations we have of ourselves. From what we have been told by our parents, what we have heard from others about ourselves and what we have learned from experience, we have ideas about what our capabilities are. We think we know what we can do and what we can't. We could be right or wrong. We might reach beyond our capabilities or be trapped by what we see as out limitations. Our expectations are only ideas we have about ourselves. We don't know our capabilities until we take the risk and stretch ourselves a little. Even then, we might have the capacity to learn skills we don't have at present. We sell ourselves short if we stop at the limits we think we have. Taking a chance is often risky but is the only way we can find out out true abilities.

The Stigma of Ordinary People

When I was first studying psychology, I was introduced to a book called Stigma by Erving Goffman. In the book, Goffman wrote about how people who were different had a stigma or sign of their being different. People came to expect them to act in accord with their perception of how they should act in their capacity as a "different" person. This label applies to race, sexual orientation, physical and mental disabilities and other forms of differentness. It occurred to me recently that all of us have stigmas of our own. Through our experience with others they form an expectation of how we should react and they are put off when we don't act the way they expect us to. This makes it hard to step out of our shells and to be creative rather than predictable. It would be good for us to remember that when we active in a different way, people don't necessarily think we are crazy. It's just that we are not doing what they expect.

Renewing Old Friendships

I went to a Christmas party last night attended by former colleagues. Even though I have not worked with them for the past two years, they still invite my life partner and me to their annual party. After leaving other jobs, I have tended to move on and lose touch with those I worked with on a daily basis. Even though I do not see people from this practice frequently, I do keep in touch from time to time. Although I suppose it would become overwhelming to try keeping in touch with everyone with whom I have worked over the years, it is nice to keep up contacts and maintain some continuity with who and where I have been in the past. It gives me some guideposts to judge my progress and direction as my life develops.

Autonomy versus Solidarity

I am still reading Barack Obama's book. I ran across his discussion of the conflict in our thinking between autonomy and solidarity. We all want individual freedom: the ability to make and follow through wih our decisions without anyone keeping us from doing so. We also have a need for solidarity: a feeling of belongingness which makes us feel supported by others. As with so many other values, these two often conflict. Balancing them and finding a way to have a measure of both is one of our life challenges. As with other areas of our lives, nothing is ever easy.

Dogma versus Common Sense

Batrack Obama in his book, The Audacity of Hope, talks about the tension between dogma and common sense. In some ways it is easier to act in response to dogma, what we are told to believe by an authority we have come to respect, or whose respect we have inherited from our parents. It doesn't involve much thinking on our part and has usually stood the test of time. However, times change and the wisdom of dogma might not still be relevant. Common sense takes some work on our part. We need to trust our perceptions, testing them to be sure they are valid. Commonsense conclusions can fly in the face of dearly held dogmas, setting up a conflict within us. It is not comfortable, but we are more likely to act courageously if we stop to examine our beliefs to see how sensible they are.

Living Comfortably on a Powder Keg

We have come to a point in our American culture where we cling to narrowly defined extreme positions, seeing those who hold opposite opinions as the enemy. Where will that get us? Nowhere. If unchecked, our acrimony might be the destruction of our civilization. If we continue to fight with each other, we will waste our energy fighting while the world passes us by as irrelevant. It is time we start listening to each other even if what we hear makes us uncomfortable. We can gently share our discomfort with each other, inviting understanding rather than attacking our fellow citizens as enemies. This would be a radical change for our society, but one which is well worth attempting and may also be our salvation as a country.

What You Hear When You Close Your Mouth

Most of us want to be heard. What we have to say is important, at least to us. When we are looking for the chance to get in our two cents, we are often focusing on finding the opportunity and hear little of what others have to say. We want to have others hear us and accept what we have to say. I learned quite a while ago that it is possible to be considered a great conversationalist without saying anything of substance. All we have to do is listen politely to what others say and ask questions about what they are saying to let them know we are listening. Sometimes we find that others already agree with us and we don't need to spend any time convincing them of our point of view. Sometimes others are able to say more clearly what we are trying to express. Even if we disagree, knowing someone else's position gives us a bridge to communicate with them and state what we have to say in a way they can understand.

Treeless in Seattle

I read this morning about how the Seattle airport had cleared its decks of Christmas trees in response to a Rabbi being upset that there were no Jewish holiday symbols on display. It reminded me of Aesop's fable about the father, son and donkey. I also wondered what it would be like if no public displays of belief or tradition were allowed. No parades of statues through the streets of North Boston on Friday nights in the summer. No Ganandigan festival. No Reconquista celebration in Vigo, Spain. It would be a barren world with nothing to celebrate. Rather than making room for everyone to display their traditions, we would have dull, secular lives unsullied by anyone's cherished beliefs. There must be a better way. Would it not be better to know about each others' traditions rather than confining them where they are not visible?

Cooperation vs. Appeasement

I have been reading lately about the difference of opinion about whether to seek cooperation with countries such as Iran and Syria or to isolate ourselves from them as a way to avoid appeasing them. When I was pondering this, the final scene from the movie Dr. Strangelove came to my mind: a cowboy character riding an atomic bomb to his doom and to that of all who lay below. I thought that we can ride our arrogance to destruction or swallow our pride and talk with those who make us uncomfortable and even afraid. It is a humbling choice but one worth pondering.

Wars and Rumors of Wars

Today is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I was not around then but did arrive on the scence in the middle of World War II. I came close to being drafted for the Vietnam War on several occasions but did not see it as having the same noble purpose as the war at the time of my birth. It seems to me that we are teetering on the verge of another world war focused in the middle east although no one I know has referred to it that way. World War I was seen at the time as the last great war, but it does not seem we have learned too many lessons from it other than how to fight more efficiently. We still do not seem to have learned to listen to each other very well. Sometimes I wonder what it will take for us to make this a priority in our world.

The Death of a Friend

The Christmas season is usually a happy and a peaceful one for me. This year a friend died, disturbing my tranquility. He had been vibrant for years and always a joy to visit although I didn't see him that often. He showed us all his secret places in New England and added great joy and interest to our trips. He had been in poor health for a number of years and died as a result of complications of surgery to reset his hip. A duel is taking place within me between the happy memories and the sadness of his death. Christmas is set in the middle of winter when the earth is still and seemingly lifeless (at least where I live.) Still I know that the earth will spring to life in a few months. I need to remind myself that Michael's memory and spirit will also return when I need to think about him as I proceed through life's daily challenges.

Learning As You Go Along

I was thinking recently how much effort it took as a child to learn certain things like walking or tying shoes although I did not think about the effort then any more than anyone else did. Once I thought I was close to learning everything I needed to know. Now I realize that life is a process of endless learning. There are always minor things to learn such as how to print out part of an e-mail in the new version of Outlook. As I was growing up, there was no such thing as Microsoft Outlook. Many of the things I learn these days are not of great importance but do make life (and work) a little easier. Maybe the point is just to give my mind something to do to keep it sharp.

Accentuate the Positive

There is an old Johnny Mercer song which starts, "Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative." There are plenty of positive and negative things in our lives each day. We have a choice of which to dwell on. Dwelling on the positive tends to make our day go better. Dwelling on the negative has the opposite result. We tend to get what we emphasize and focus on. I have wondered why this is so but so far have not figured it out. I guess it is enough to accept it as fact. It seems to work in my life. Maybe when we look for the positive, we are more likely to find it. When we look for the negative, there it is waiting for us. We can choose whatever we want and at the end of the day have the results of our choices to comfort or bother us.

White Wall Tires

This morning I was enjoying what will probably be the last of my breakfasts on the porch for a while unless I switch to frozen eggs. I was enjoying my French toast and coffee when a fancy car passed sporting white wall tires. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen them on anything other than an antique car. I was reminded of Alexander Pope's adage, "Be not the first by whom the new are tried, nor yet the last to lay the old aside." I thought of old customs which were once the rage but now passe. It is amazing to me the things we come to think we must have when in fact they are just fads which will eventually fade. Sometimes it is hard to think past what is in vogue and remember what is really important.

How To Be Your Own Best Critic

It seems like we would be in a good position to be our own critics. After all, we are the only ones inside our skins on a twenty-four hour basis. Yet we are often blind to our rough spots and don't see what we need to fix or change. Maybe we don't want to see it. Some people act like porcupines and don't let anyone else close enough to share their opinions, especially of us. However there is a way we can learn to view ourselves critically. If we listen to what we criticize about others, and think about what we are saying, we might well find that we criticize in others the very things we would do well to change in ourselves. It's something to ponder.

Counting on Feedback

How much time do we waste fretting about why people act in ways which inconvenience us? Don't they know what we want them to do? How could they be so callous? People don't always do things to inconvenience us. Sometimes they do things they think we would like, but just don't know us well enough. How often do we tell people what we think, and how often do we expect them to guess our thoughts? We tend to forget people are not mindreaders. If we think something, we expect others to be aware of it. It doesn't work that way. It is important to let others know what we think. But we will get farther if we first listen to how others receive information. Then we will know how to approach them and they will be more receptive to what we have to say.

The Agnostic's Prayer

I was reading last week that choosing faith or choosing athiesm was noble and respectible while choosing agnosticism was wishy-washy and unrespectible. In some ways this statement seemed to make sense. With the first two options, at least one chose something definite. If you choose athiesm or faith, at least you know where you stand and can get on with the rest of your life in accordance with your beliefs. But is agnosticism really a cop out? Agnosticism means admitting you don't know about God. You then have the choice of saying you don't care either and proceed with a life of indifference. You can also say you don't know but would like to find out and spend at least part of your life answering the questions you have about God and living according to what you discover. Maybe that is not such a bad alternative.

Where My Gratitude Lies

I didn't write yesterday. I was busy being grateful. Hopefully you have your own gratitude list. Here is mine. I am grateful that my life partner has survived cancer for over a year after her initial diagnosis. I feel able to stop worrying about her now. I am grateful for my own health. I have not taken the best care of my body, but it is working well despite my lack of attendance to its needs at times. I plan to show my gratitude by working to take better care of it in the future. I am grateful for my prosperity. I learned some time ago that prosperity is a matter of attitude rather than one of have money. I am able to look back over the last ten years and see how far I have come with my new attitude. I am grateful that my children have all been able to say goodbye to their grandmother and let her go in peace as I was able to do with my father a few years ago. I have learned that once unfinished business has been buried with someone it is very difficult to dig it up and finally resolve it. I am grateful that I was able to find a free internet broadcast of WQXR, a radio station which brought me joy and peace many years ago when I lived in New York.

Protection from the Truth

I have noticed that we sometimes keep things from people which we know to be true. We do this to protect them at times. We imagine that if it were us, we would not like to hear it. How do we decide whether to tell someone the truth? I remember three criteria which I heard once and which applies to anything we might say. Ask yourself, "Is it true, is it kind and is it purposeful." If what you have to say does not meet all three criteria, keep it to yourself. The hardest part for me is the third. How do I know whether what I have to say serves a purpose for my audience. Sometimes I have to listen first to get a sense of how something might be received. I can go from past experience of how a person reacts. Sometimes I just have to guess.

Tradition and Innovation

When you look at TV ads, you see attempts to find new ways to get people's attention and sell things. When you think about this time of year, you tend to think of family customs. Is innovation or tradition more important? It's probably not a fair question. Tradition gives us a sense of how we connect with our ancestors and our culture. Innovation keeps life interesting. Sometimes I think the challenge is to find a balance between to two and a way to keep our lives in perspective.

In Pursuit of Perfection

I have always been somewhat mystified by people who avidly pursue perfection. Do they really want to be perfect or are they more interested in being perceived as such? I have had many reminders throughout my life that I am not perfect. I have tried to accept them gracefully and go on about my business. The motto of my college was, "Let each become all he (or she) is capable of becoming." Nothing was mentioned about perfection. While I see it as a challenge to improve whatever talents we may find ourselves possessing, perfection is an elusive goal and its pursuit destined to end in frustration. On the other hand, there is an old monastic saying, "It's a great life if you weaken just a little."

Facing Reality

Did you ever come to your senses and realize you were living in a fantasy world? I did this morning. I have been doing some walking and swimming (side stroke) and occasionally thinking about what I eat. Today I went to the gym for a real workout and I found myself huffing and puffing. I was not in the shape I fantasized being in. I found it interesting to find how easy it was to delude myself that I was in good shape and have a lot of work to do to achieve the fitness I would like to have. I wonder what else I need to know about myself.

Dodging the Roadblocks

Sometimes I roll on in life without thinking of the obstacles. I can set goals and work toward them without a second thought. My biggest roadblock is the need for perseverence. The goals I set are often not reachable quickly. They require that I work steadily for a long time and not become discouraged. What is hardest for me is not having clear signs that I am getting any closer to my goal. I notice this particularly in writing. I have learned that finishing a writing project is not necessarily a clear sign of success. Now that I have set my sights on breaking into the publishing industry, it is harder to see if I am getting any closer to my goal. My challenge is to find the perseverence to keep going when there are no mileposts along my way.

The Balance Between Idealism and Commerce

I have been wrestling lately with how to have my writing published.
I originally thought that if I had good ideas, publishing would not be that hard. In my efforts to find an agent and a publisher, I have come to realize that publishing is a business, something I naively ignoried before. Publishing seems to be more about selling books and making money than about disseminating ideas and enriching people's lives. Not that the two are necessarily incompatible, but commerce seems to be the priority for publishing houses. I guess this should not have come as a surprise to me. The challenge I see for myself is how to make my writing challenging to people's thinking as well as being commercially successful without focusing entirely on commerce. This does not seem easy, at least for me, but others have done it and I will try to understand how they have.

Proud of Our Country

It's been a long time since I have felt proud of our country. In the past we have been champions of the downtrodden and come to the aid of a world in crisis. More recently, we have created a crisis or at least worsened it by our withdrawing from the world community on many fronts. In the recent election, we seem to have begun to realize the error of our ways. We have a chance to work together again, hopefully in a thoughtful and constructive way to again make the world a little better place to live. I hope we follow through with the opportunity.

Humility and Accomplishment

There seem to be many people these days who spend most of their time announcing how great they are and very little of it doing anything great. Maybe it is just the end of the campaign season. Hidden in the back pages of the newspaper or sometimes only relayed by word of mouth are the accomplisments of those who go about sharing their talents with others without making a big deal about it. I am impressed by the humility of these people. They don't seem to need recognition and are often uncomfortable when their efforts are noticed. They are content to share what they have with others and do what they can to make others' lives a little better. Thank God for them.

Mortality and Living

I ran across a line in Anne Rivers Siddons' Up Island yesterday. It stated that you can't really live until you come to terms with your mortality. Realizing that we will not live forever gives our lives a context. We do not have forever and what we accomplish in the limited time we have will be our legacy to those who follow. Unless it grabs you by the throat, mortality is easy to ignore. When we feel well, we tend to think we will have all the time in the world. An interesting mental exercise would be to decide what we would do today if it were the last day of our lives.

The Slippery Truth

I was reading an article in the religion section of the newspaper this morning about how the truth is not relative and that it can be found in the words of Jesus as contained in the bible. There is nothing ambiguous about it. Unfortunately people have fought for years about what Jesus meant and how to interpret his words. Others have been just as insistent that Mumammed spoke the only truth. Still others believe their various interpretations of God, none more worthy than the other. Some also think truth lies on another plane, like science. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be one exposition of the truth that we can all agree on and follow together. We are left to follow our own conscience under the guidance of God as we understand Him or Her. Our challenge is to do this in a way which brings us together rather than pitting us against each other.

Ready, Fire, Aim

The title of this blog came from a description of how the brains of people with ADHD work. Actions or words emerge before they have a chance to be considered for their potential consequences. I thought of the efforts of Pope Benedict and John Kerry to backtrack and undo the consequences of what they had said. It seems to me an effort not unlike dealing with the tar baby. The harder you try, the more deeply you get into a mess. It seems there are many people spouting off with little thought to the consequences of their statements. Others speak considering only what they might have to gain without considering the effect on their audience. The answer to this dilemma seems to me to be listening first. If we know what is in the minds of our audience, we will have a better idea of how to approach them in an understanding way and make the point we want to without inviting a firestorm.

Communication for the Rest of Us

After I wrote yesterday's blog about communication difficulties in families beset by mental illness, I realized that they did not have exclusive rights to this problem. The rest of us have many thoughts during the day, only a few of which we share with others. Then we expect them to understand the context of what we are saying as if they were privy to the rest of our thoughts. We expect them to be mindreaders and we become annoyed when they don't know what we are talking about. I think one mistake many of us make is to start talking without knowing the other person's state of mind, receptivity to what we have to say or understanding the context of our thoughts. I remember once a description of our lives as imagining ourselves being the main character in a play while others in our lives have supporting roles. What we forget is that others have the same fantasy and we are seen as supporting characters in their drama.